Divorce can be a challenging time for parents and children alike, but parental mediation offers a peaceful, cost-effective solution that benefits everyone involved. Here’s why mediation between parents is the best choice for your children.

1. Less Stress for Everyone

Divorce mediation is known for its calming, private environment—far removed from the confrontational atmosphere of a courtroom. Parents, rather than battling for a “win,” work together to make decisions that are best for their children. Mediation for co-parenting helps ease stress, which ultimately helps children feel more secure during such a difficult transition.

2. Lower Costs

Divorce mediation is typically far more affordable than litigation. By avoiding costly attorney fees and lengthy court battles, parents can allocate their resources towards what matters most—supporting their children’s needs. What is parental mediation? Simply put, it’s a more budget-friendly process that ensures both parents can prioritize their children’s futures.

3. More Control in the Mediation Process

One of the greatest advantages of parental mediation is that it allows you, the parents, to retain control over decisions that affect your children’s lives. Issues like custody arrangements, child support, extracurricular costs, and even health expenses can be discussed in a collaborative, supportive setting. You know your children best, and mediation empowers you to make the right decisions together.

4. Better Communication

Clear, open communication is crucial for successful co-parenting mediation. In divorce mediation, trained professionals guide you through the process of improving communication and understanding each other’s needs. By enhancing how parents talk and listen to each other, children are more likely to witness healthy interactions, setting the stage for a positive, ongoing relationship between both parents.

5. Emotionally Protective of Children

The emotional impact of divorce on children can be profound. Mediation encourages parents to consider how their behavior during this time will affect their children in the long run. Rather than engaging in combative, stressful exchanges, mediation helps ensure a supportive environment where your children feel protected and loved, even through challenging moments.

6. Future Cooperation and Flexibility

A divorce is just the beginning of a long-term co-parenting relationship. Mediation between parents lays the foundation for continued cooperation. If changes need to be made to the parenting plan down the road, you can always return to mediation for a resolution. This adaptability makes co-parenting mediation a sustainable choice for long-term success, allowing both parents to stay aligned with their children’s evolving needs.

Conclusion: Divorce Mediation in Long Island

If you are a parent in Long Island seeking a peaceful resolution to your divorce, consider choosing the New York Divorce Mediation Group. With extensive experience in handling co-parenting mediation, they offer compassionate divorce mediation services in Long Island to help you and your children transition smoothly. Their team, led by professional mediators, ensures that you maintain control, save costs, and prioritize your children’s well-being throughout the entire process.

Visit New York Divorce Mediation Group today to learn more about their services and start your journey towards a peaceful, cooperative future for you and your family.

The American Dream! You’ve married, raised a family, bought a house, put the kids through college. A few years later your children have grown, moved out, started careers and families of their own. Now the “empty nest” feeling of just you and your spouse alone in the home sets in.

Unfortunately, many older couples in this position are finding they no longer have the shared interests and goals they had  earlier in life. This new awareness has created what many are calling the “gray divorce epidemic.”

According to a recent Pew Research study, while the American divorce rate has actually declined for every other age demographic, the divorce rate among U.S. adults ages 50 and older has roughly doubled since the 1990’s.

Contemplating a legal separation or uncontested divorce when you are an older couple brings with it specific financial  issues to consider, discuss and negotiate. Ensuring a livable retirement income and fair access to the legally mandated Social Security funds for both marriage partners is essential. While divorcing at an older age can upend previous retirement plans and finances a carefully executed separation or divorce through mediation  can make life livable for both parties.

Generally, couples who are aged 55 and older in long term marriages should think about:

1) Social Security-10 year rule: if you are married longer than 10 years, and divorce, you can collect ½ half of your ex-spouse’s Social Security benefits  if it is higher than your Social Security benefit. This entitlement will not reduce your ex-spouse’s benefits

2)Health Insurance:  consider a separation agreement until the spouse who needs health insurance is 65 and eligible for Medicare.  You need to make sure that the health insurance you have will cover a spouse under a separation agreement.  Please note that some small companies, (under 20 employees) aren’t required to provide COBRA.

3) Pensions: If a spouse is eligible to collect a  pension or is already retired and collecting a pension, the other spouse is entitled to a share of the pension, typically 50%, that has been earned during the marriage.  The  pension is divided by an instrument called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order that requires the pension plan to give a certain share of the pension to the ex-spouse.  To be fair to all parties involved, it is important to  make sure that the non-monied spouse has a stream of income.

4) Spousal support (Maintenance): depending on the recipient spouse’s ability to work and to be self-supporting, courts may award maintenance up until  age 67 when  they are  able to collect full Social Security benefits.

If you are in a long-term marriage and thinking about divorce it would be wise to consult with a professional trained and knowledgeable in these matters. At the New York Divorce Mediation Group, where we serve couples throughout Nassau, Suffolk, Queens, and Long Island, we are experienced in helping couples  in long term marriages work through the challenges of a “gray divorce”.  We can help you too.

(Read more at https://www.kiplinger.com/article/retirement/T065-C032-S014-the-true-cost-of-gray-divorce.html#poTQIcuHkWdGQlpV.99

Many couples contemplating divorce are under the false impression that they must get along and be “amicable” to mediate their divorce or separation. This is a common misconception. The truth is that the vast majority of mediation clients will, at some point during the mediation, express anger, hurt or resentment towards their spouse.  This is normal given the high emotional stakes and the history between them. They will not always feel “amicable” given all that has occurred to bring them to this point. A trained divorce mediator offers a safe space for clients to express themselves despite their feelings of discomfort, but at the same time, makes sure that the clients stay on track to work through the issues that prove to be the most difficult and contentious. A trained mediator will help their clients focus on the common goals of achieving a resolution without undue costs and without further adding emotional stress to themselves or especially their children.

A mediation atmosphere that is as comfortable

In mediation, we help provide an atmosphere that is as comfortable as possible given the circumstances to negotiate with one another and to achieve compromises. As with all negotiations, both parties have to be willing to compromise. If one person is excessively rigid –it’s my way or the highway- compromise will be difficult. If one parent uses their children as leverage, and does not consider the harm to the children that a prolonged court battle will likely incur, mediation will likely be tougher. We typically find in mediation that even when parents are not amicable with one another regarding issues between them, most parents, who know their children best, will work together in mediation for the benefit of the children they love and have raised together.

Advice for an Amicable Divorce

In our practice, we work with patience and understanding to help clients communicate their concerns to one another about themselves or their children, so that a resolution can be achieved that can address each of their needs. We have much experience helping clients express themselves effectively in the here and now and as calmly as possible when there have been communication difficulties of long-standing. This way, they can focus on what needs to be accomplished when separating assets and when determining issues related to the children.

Well over ninety percent of our clients have completed their mediation successfully. That’s because we help them identify what their most important concerns are and assist them in putting the interests of their children first rather than focusing on the negative emotions that arise during this difficult period in their lives. Divorcing amicably or not, our clients usually recognize that they would rather divide their assets between themselves rather than give it to their lawyers and that it would be better for them emotionally if they can reach an agreement that they have tailored for themselves and that will work best for both of them in the future.

With the best interests of your children in mind, at New York Divorce Mediation Group we often bring the opportunity and benefits of Co-parenting into the divorce mediation conversation. When any family breaks apart there will be changes in every family member’s daily life. Adults are better emotionally equipped to deal with the day-to-day changes this separation brings about. Children, especially young children, need more help. Co-parenting enables the children of a dissolving marriage to experience a more stable life than in a typical court ordered child custody arrangement.

In fact co-parenting during divorce is the exact opposite of a typical court-ordered child custody arrangement where one parent is exclusively responsible for the children and the other becomes an occasional visitor. This “shared parenting” agreement allows the children to continue to receive regular time, attention and love from both parents.

How to Co-Parent When Going Through a Divorce

Making this co-parenting joint custody agreement work is not always easy. The parents challenge in this arrangement is to keep their personal feeling of anger, hurt and distrust at bay and put the focus on the welfare of the children. Doing so ensures that the children’s needs are met and that they are able to retain close personal relationships with both parents regularly.
For co-parenting to work when going through a divorce, open communication between both parents is essential. Both parents need to be of a similar mind regarding the care and upbringing of the children when in either parent’s allocated time together. Respecting the other parent’s wishes regarding the children’s welfare when the children are in one parent’s care is paramount for co-parenting to work.

For example, if a mother’s concern is healthy eating, it would violate the co-parenting spirit of the agreement if the father continually fed the children fast food and soda when they are in his household. If the co-parenting agreement calls for a set bedtime for the children, both parents must respect this decision when the children are in the household. This brings the consistency to the children’s life that co-parenting affords.

Those couples in mediation are emotionally ideally positioned for a co-parenting arrangement as they are predisposed to a more amicable divorce. Co-parenting during divorce eases the life changing situation for the most vulnerable in the family – the children.

At New York Divorce Mediation Group we have a trained psychotherapist who works with families in transition as part of the mediation process. We are trained to help guide you through the process and ease your separation thereby lessening one of the key concerns of divorcing couples at any stage in their married life – how to best deal with the children’s needs.

Call us today to schedule your free consultation.

In our Divorce Mediation practice, we often come upon situations where one spouse will need to provide financial support to the other spouse for a period of time and, far less often, permanently. This type of spousal support is called “Maintenance.”

Spousal support is meant to help the non-working spouse or the lower income spouse become self supporting and to live as close as possible to their pre-separation standard of living. Among the factors that judges consider when calculating spousal support are the age, health, education, work history and length of marriage.

A few scenarios where Maintenance would be appropriate:

a) young, stay at home parent with small children
b) a stay at home parent who is re-entering the work force after many years of child rearing
c) a spouse with permanent health issues
d) a spouse who is nearing retirement age and has never worked
e) a spouse who is seeking to upgrade career credentials
f) a spouse, who because of a lack of education, is in a minimum wage job

In situations where the spouses have agreed to Spousal Support/Maintenance for a specified number of years,they can also agree that Maintenance will be reduced as the recipient’s income increases or terminate when the recipient’s income reaches a certain level. Maintenance will also typically end when the recipient remarries.

While this article offers an overview of the many factors that go into determining the calculated amount and duration of Spousal Support/Maintenance, the mediation process will look at your particular circumstances to determine whether Maintenance is appropriate. At New York Divorce Mediation Group we will provide guidance in a non-adversarial environment, and answer all your questions on Maintenance.

Those couples considering ending their marriage have a new choice in how they actually dissolve the marriage. It’s called collaborative divorce.

As the name implies, collaborative divorce is all about a team approach to resolving family issues in an amicable manner. Collaborative divorce is a procedure in which the two parties agree that they will not go to court, or threaten to do so. Each spouse hires an attorney who will negotiate the terms of their divorce or separation on their behalf, but the attorneys first agree that they will not represent the spouse in court in the event settlement negotiations are unsuccessful. Agreeing to withdraw if the matter can’t be settled is the key element in collaborative divorce. It provides an incentive to settle and discourages divorce lawyers from initiating expensive and lengthy pre-trial tactics. The process is what the name suggests; it’s collaborative not adversarial.

How do you know if collaborative divorce is right for you and your spouse? If you both are respectful towards each other, commit to full disclosure of your assets and debts, and actively participate in a creative dialogue to reach a negotiated settlement then collaborative divorce may be good for you.

We would be pleased to discuss this with you during a free confidential initial consultation. Call us today to schedule your appointment at 516 749 5017.