You’re in the process of a major life transition, separation or divorce, and now possibly faced with the reality of diminished income, especially if only one spouse has been working during the marriage. Yet another life transition is at hand… the need to re-enter the workforce after a prolonged absence.

Most often it is the woman as stay-at-home moms that have to figure out how to overcome this challenge.

 “What do I do to get a job after not having worked for a long time?”

In some cases a career makeover may be appropriate; in others, you may be able to get back into the same field. Each individual’s circumstances will be different but here are some guidelines to follow:

• Set reasonable goals for self-sufficiency and the time it will take to achieve it
• Determine what your first move is; plan your next move
• Realize that this is another life transition and a professional transition phase as well
• Focus on your strengths and skillset and not necessarily your prior experience. Your skillset may be appropriate for several career choices.
• Consider meeting with a career coach to help you figure out your strengths and interests.
• Redo or write your resume; in addition to a career coach, there are many websites offering suggestions on how to do this. Your resume will be a work in progress, so editing and revising is to be expected
• Build your confidence in yourself by practicing and role-playing job interviews with friends and family. Anticipate the questions you’ll be asked during an interview and prepare answers in advance so you don’t have to make it up on the spot
• Decide upon which jobs or career direction you really would like to have. This may be an ideal opportunity to attempt what it is you WANT to do rather than what you HAVE to do
• Manage your personal expectations, you may have to start at a lower level then when you left the field but with your life skills may work your way back up more quickly
• Read the HELP WANTED ads in the newspapers; search the Internet job boards, network in person and on social media to get a sense of the current job availabilities. Tell everyone tactfully that you are in the market and searching for a job; never ask them directly for a job, rather ask if they may know of any openings.
• Be able to describe in five sentences what your ideal job is and why you are qualified for this position ( often called an “elevator speech”,  this should be able to be spoken in the short time it takes to ride the elevator from the lobby to your floor)
• Learn from each job hunting experience and apply that new knowledge to your next meeting
• Don’t give up!

At NY Divorce Mediation Group we can help you find your way through this workforce situation as we help you through the divorce mediation process, too.

There will be many decisions affecting the family that will be negotiated amicably during divorce mediation. For spouses with children in divorce mediation one area that is important to address is how to deal with future college tuition costs. Regardless of the age of your children at the time of separating or divorcing, the hope and expectation for many is that the children will attend college when they graduate high school. So to properly prepare for this we include future college cost discussions in our divorce mediation sessions.

Under the NYS Child Support Standards Act, there is no requirement that a parent pay college tuition or other related college costs. To ensure the children’s education is properly arranged for we urge those in divorce mediation to consider what is referred to as the “SUNY CAP”.

The “SUNY CAP” limits what each parent will contribute towards college tuition and related expenses up to the cost of a State University of New York “SUNY” college. Typically, parents will split the costs either in proportion to their respective incomes at the tme their child is entering college, some other percentage, or one parent will be solely responsible for the costs, if that is economically feasible.

Obviously there are benefits to the children’s future as well as to the separating parents in making these arrangements a part of the final settlement agreement. And as with most legal matters there are other college costs to discuss as well as different ways of financing college education while going through divorce. At the New York Divorce Mediation Group, we provide options so each parent can make informed decisions.

If you have children and are considering separation or divorce, then be sure to ask about how best to prepare for your children’s college years. We will be happy to discuss this with you during your sessions or as a introduction to our practice during your initial free consultation.