You’re in the process of a major life transition, separation or divorce, and now possibly faced with the reality of diminished income, especially if only one spouse has been working during the marriage. Yet another life transition is at hand… the need to re-enter the workforce after a prolonged absence.

Most often it is the woman as stay-at-home moms that have to figure out how to overcome this challenge.

 “What do I do to get a job after not having worked for a long time?”

In some cases a career makeover may be appropriate; in others, you may be able to get back into the same field. Each individual’s circumstances will be different but here are some guidelines to follow:

• Set reasonable goals for self-sufficiency and the time it will take to achieve it
• Determine what your first move is; plan your next move
• Realize that this is another life transition and a professional transition phase as well
• Focus on your strengths and skillset and not necessarily your prior experience. Your skillset may be appropriate for several career choices.
• Consider meeting with a career coach to help you figure out your strengths and interests.
• Redo or write your resume; in addition to a career coach, there are many websites offering suggestions on how to do this. Your resume will be a work in progress, so editing and revising is to be expected
• Build your confidence in yourself by practicing and role-playing job interviews with friends and family. Anticipate the questions you’ll be asked during an interview and prepare answers in advance so you don’t have to make it up on the spot
• Decide upon which jobs or career direction you really would like to have. This may be an ideal opportunity to attempt what it is you WANT to do rather than what you HAVE to do
• Manage your personal expectations, you may have to start at a lower level then when you left the field but with your life skills may work your way back up more quickly
• Read the HELP WANTED ads in the newspapers; search the Internet job boards, network in person and on social media to get a sense of the current job availabilities. Tell everyone tactfully that you are in the market and searching for a job; never ask them directly for a job, rather ask if they may know of any openings.
• Be able to describe in five sentences what your ideal job is and why you are qualified for this position ( often called an “elevator speech”,  this should be able to be spoken in the short time it takes to ride the elevator from the lobby to your floor)
• Learn from each job hunting experience and apply that new knowledge to your next meeting
• Don’t give up!

At NY Divorce Mediation Group we can help you find your way through this workforce situation as we help you through the divorce mediation process, too.

Those couples considering ending their marriage have a new choice in how they actually dissolve the marriage. It’s called collaborative divorce.

As the name implies, collaborative divorce is all about a team approach to resolving family issues in an amicable manner. Collaborative divorce is a procedure in which the two parties agree that they will not go to court, or threaten to do so. Each spouse hires an attorney who will negotiate the terms of their divorce or separation on their behalf, but the attorneys first agree that they will not represent the spouse in court in the event settlement negotiations are unsuccessful. Agreeing to withdraw if the matter can’t be settled is the key element in collaborative divorce. It provides an incentive to settle and discourages divorce lawyers from initiating expensive and lengthy pre-trial tactics. The process is what the name suggests; it’s collaborative not adversarial.

How do you know if collaborative divorce is right for you and your spouse? If you both are respectful towards each other, commit to full disclosure of your assets and debts, and actively participate in a creative dialogue to reach a negotiated settlement then collaborative divorce may be good for you.

We would be pleased to discuss this with you during a free confidential initial consultation. Call us today to schedule your appointment at 516 749 5017.

When married couples have decided to separate or divorce, we are often asked about the financial benefits of divorce mediation over a traditional divorce. One of the most frequent topics of discussion – on both the husband’s AND the wife’s side – is the cost differences between the two options. After all the family financial situation will be changing, both parties want to preserve their financial resources and limit expenses as much as possible.

When we talk about the costs involved in mediation vs. divorce and how much less expensive those fees are when compared to a typical divorce using two lawyers and incurring the other fees associated with litigation, many inclined towards mediation see the savings as a motivating factor to choose the less costly path. While there is no “one size fits all” in these types of proceedings especially when talking about the divorce court route, here are a few guidelines for your consideration:

• In New York, and especially on Long Island, a typical divorce will include the costs of hiring two attorneys, pre-trial motions, expert fees and the costs of a trial.  Even if the case settles prior to trial, and most do, the costs can range from $20,000 to $75,000 or more.
• Divorce mediation is a fraction of this cost because the spouses are working directly with the mediator in anywhere between 2-6 hourly sessions plus the costs of writing the agreement and preparing and filing the divorce papers.
• Divorce mediation is not only less expensive but it is also a speedier process, and if as many say “time is money”, then being able to amicably legally divorce at far less cost is a winning situation financially and emotionally.

Again these are guidelines only and are not to be considered the actual rates or fees you will experience if you choose either the divorce court route or divorce mediation. We will be happy to discuss your marriage situation, either with or without your spouse present, and disclose actual costs of our Long Island divorce mediation services during our initial free consultation.